My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
