he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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