i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
