If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
