i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
