All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
