How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
