I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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