Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
