Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize