I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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