Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
