hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
