You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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