i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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