so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize