Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
