Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
