I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
