I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
