im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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