ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
