How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
