I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
