As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You're like the curious george of whores
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
