U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just want to make out with him forever
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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