I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
