I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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