I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
