god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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