Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize