I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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