you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
BRING THE BAGELS
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