actually, I'm a sock model
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
