we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
