It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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