I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize