I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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