Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
