i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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