Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
