I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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