I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize