now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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