Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize