My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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