The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
