I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
