loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
