just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
