my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
