my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
