he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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