Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
