I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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