k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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