Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
