It's Friday. Sex?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize