i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
