I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
