belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
