Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize