chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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