There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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