Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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