nut hugger
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
