Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
zippers are such a cool invention
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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