Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
